I think I’ve touched on this topic over previous posts but I don’t recall directly writing about burnout. While I imagine people experience burnout differently, it’s a fairly common problem that so many of us deal with. It’s also near and dear to my heart because I’ve often been on the edge of burnout.
My day job can be pretty high stress and demanding. The hardest part, especially working remote, is being able to turn it off at night. Before you know it, you’ve spent the day working and dragged those problems into the evening. You never truly decompress and suddenly it’s time for bed, but you can’t sleep, so you grab a nightcap and try to sleep. But your sleep is troubled and you wake up in the night thinking about those problems you were having all day – and how you’re going to solve them the next day.
Burnout is basically that over a long period of time. It’s allowing something to consume every aspect of your life until you become so tired and demotivated that you can’t even seem to do the things you used to enjoy. It’s like the kudzu vine slowly creeping and growing. At first, there’s not a lot and maybe it’s at the base of one tree. Let it go long enough and the forest is consumed and the vines have sucked all the life out of those trees… looking pretty on the outside but empty on the inside.
I’ve been there before.
That experience is why self-care is so important to me and why I’ve tried so hard to strike a balance between my life and my day job. I worry a lot about ending up on the other side again – a place where being creative isn’t an option because the joy is lost. That, of course, leads to a different problem: the worry of burning out.
I can’t really force creativity – I’m either up for it or I’m not. But whenever I’m not in a creative mood, I have a brief moment of worry that it’s the burnout creeping up on me. I have to constantly remind myself: “Hey, it’s okay to relax.” Worrying about it doesn’t help and it doesn’t make the situation better. I just have to recognize that there will be a natural ebb and flow to my creative endeavors. Some days will be far more productive than others.
Also, it’s okay because I’m still progressing and moving forward. Most importantly, I’m still enjoying the process and have the desire to produce more music. I shouldn’t have to worry about approaching burnout because I know myself. I know the difference in feeling between needing a creative break and not wanting to do anything at all.
And having a little self-check like this, reminding myself of what I have accomplished and how I’m feeling – that goes a long way towards keeping that kudzu under control.
P.S. Don’t underestimate the value of talking to someone if you’re feeling like you might be burned out. It will help.